When you are told you cannot have something, your brain’s mechanism fires. This is the "ironic process theory" made famous by psychologist Daniel Wegner. Try not to think of a white bear. You will obsess over the white bear. Try not to want your best friend’s spouse. You will dream of them.
The most mundane, yet most potent, breeding ground for this phenomenon. Professionalism (taboo #1) forbids fraternization. The proximity and alcohol create heat. The unspoken rule (taboo #2) is that you never, ever acknowledge that you looked at a colleague's lips for half a second too long. The real heat isn't the potential kiss; it is the shared secret of the potential . Part V: The Psychological Toll – Living with the Paradox We cannot simply "get rid" of taboos. Sociologist Émile Durkheim argued that a society without taboos is a society without a collective conscience. It would be atomized and anomic. taboo heat taboo
By J. Blackwood, Cultural Psychologist
This is the "taboo heat taboo." It is the social prohibition against acknowledging the thermodynamics of desire. It is considered morally primitive to say, "The fact that this is wrong makes it right for me." When you are told you cannot have something,
A taboo is not merely a rule; it is a sacred prohibition. Unlike a law, which is enforced by the state, a taboo is enforced by the collective soul of a community. In ancient societies, taboos protected the tribe from spiritual contamination. Don’t eat the sacred animal. Don’t touch the chief’s crown. Don’t look at the shaman during the ritual. You will obsess over the white bear
We are animals who invented clothes, laws, and manners. We are beasts who learned to cook our food and speak in paragraphs. But the fur grows back in the dark. The embers of the forbidden never go out; they are merely covered by the ashes of propriety.