Charles Bukowski A Veces Estoy Tan Solo Que Tiene Sentido Page
The phrase holds a double edge. Yes, sometimes the loneliness makes sense because it becomes a familiar blanket. It is the devil you know. But Bukowski also shows the rot. In Post Office , his protagonist Henry Chinaski is so alone that he begins to enjoy the mechanical repetition of sorting mail because it requires zero human interaction. That "sense" is also a form of surrender.
But did Bukowski actually write this? The answer is complicated, and exploring that detective work is the first step toward understanding why this particular line haunts us. Purists will argue that Bukowski wrote in English. His voice was the raw, grimy vernacular of post-WWII Los Angeles. He wrote about booze, horses, cheap hotels, and "the asshole of the world." The phrase "A veces estoy tan solo que tiene sentido" appears nowhere in his original English manuscripts. charles bukowski a veces estoy tan solo que tiene sentido
Bukowski wrote in Factotum : “If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start.” That includes loneliness. If you are going to be lonely, be completely lonely. Go all the way down. When you hit the bottom, the floor holds. Bukowski spent decades moving through flophouses and cramped apartments. In his world, the room is a character. It is a womb and a tomb. It is where he wrote, drank, and listened to classical music. The phrase holds a double edge
To say "A veces estoy tan solo que tiene sentido" is to remove the stigma. It is to stop viewing loneliness as a broken bone that needs fixing, and start viewing it as a weather pattern—something that passes through, and sometimes, beautiful things grow in the drought. But Bukowski also shows the rot
That is the moment the quote describes. The moment the pain plateaus, then shifts.
And for a moment, in that deep, dark, logical silence, you are not broken. You are free.
